Wednesday, July 27, 2011
♥ How to say?
Not doing good recently. Feel restless. Always got offended. Mind stucked up for some time. I really don't know what to say about my life. I feel sad yet looking forward for good things that will only happen only once in a blue moon. Can I really say out what I am unhappy about? Man can really never be trusted for some reason. I won't trust a man easily. Ever since I find out that no matter how much trust and honesty you put on a man, it will not assure you won't get hurt. I got hurt. Yet, I'm the one who going to mend my own wounds. I believe that I am actually lying to myself most of the time, trying to convince myself and put in trust and honesty in a man. Seriously, I'm really tired. If I am single, will it be better? What if I feel lonely? Will there be anyone to keep me accompany? I don't really want to be a woman who needs a man. What if I really need a shoulder to lean on during my bad days? I have not much friends left thou. So, who will be there while I'm far from my family and KL friends? Who will then take care of me when I am sick? Kind of disappointed in life.
9:59 AM
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
♥ formspring.me
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/PurpleEjiin
3:55 PM
♥ It has been so long since then...
Dear friends,
It has been so long ever since the last time I update my blog.
There's been quite a lot of happening by then till now.
Work
I learnt so many things up till now in my current firm, seeing different type of people and happenings. Most people here are for criminal matters. So much exciting stories from each and every person. My bosses are nice. Big boss is a ex-police officer and currently practicing as a lawyer in criminal matters. My boss is a newbie in legal industry, side by side we learn together. It was not as stress as my first job in Singapore. Sometimes, my boss does scold when he is totally pissed off with the work and mess he is facing. But then, he still is a nice guy. I have nice colleague here. All of them. So, working here quite happy. Only sometimes when there is something to rush, everyone will feel stress then everyone will got bad mood.
Studies
Frankly speaking, I haven even start to save the money for studying. Even I have determined to take Diploma in Paralegal Studies, I still need some time to prepare myself mentally and physically. I worried that I will fail in my studies like the last time and wasted the money. So, I still have time till next year to start my studies. Before my time restricted by studies, I will enjoy as much as I could now. I've planned for Taiwan trip on 28 September 2011 till 7 October 2011.
Relationship
Overall okay. My baby has been getting busy recently. Less time for sleep and less time for me. Only during his semester break he is free. Our relationship is kind of husband and wife relationship. We have been together for 3 years and now, we sort of communicate less. Sometimes, I still feel insecure about our relationship. He is getting more and more friends while I still remain the same. I wonder why those new friends of his mostly girls, very young girls. I am a jealous person. Every time he sms some girls, he would delete the content of the conversation. This is the reason why I have been feeling so insecure. Even if he says it's nothing and just simple conversation which the other party reply only a few words, still I feel like there's something happening. I choose to believe him but I don't believe him fully. Ask me why? If he ever cheat on me while I believe him 100% I am the one who die with grudges and sadness. I am the one hurt most. Hurt to the extend of wanted to commit suicide. I've got hurt so many times and it's difficult for me to fully heal. When I am with my 1st boyfriend, he hugged some other girls without me knowing when there are only the 2 of them. I found out easily as my six sense told me that he cheated on me. He admitted. My 2nd boyfriend lied to me. I saw there's a girl that he has been contacting a lot and taking about our relationship things. When he say he want to break up, I questioned him whether he is in love with this girl and he denied. In the end we end the relationship peacefully and not long he got together with the girl who has husband and a baby girl. My six sense has been always right about something fishy about my boys. I don't know whether this time, am I just thinking too much or it's real. However, I still love my baby a lot and choose to trust him. I really hope we can last forever without cheating or covering or lying. I want a pure and honest relationship with him. No hidden motive or so on. Moreover, my baby has such weird attitudes which I have to keep up with. Sometimes, I really feel hard to keep up as I am swallowing the bombs he gave me. I don't know when my limit of tolerance reach and burst. I hope, we can try to look for a better solutions of all these matters.
Financial
Financially, not stable at all. Didn't manage to save money till now. A lot of things to spend on. Hopefully, by then I can save up money for future use. Starting after I'm back from Taiwan Trip!
Health
I can say that my health deteriorated. Officially having asthma now. Need to rely on the pump whenever I feel unable to breathe properly and when played too hard with my baby. Sleep at least a little bit improved as I am having less dreams during the night. Sometimes I still dream weird things but not as much as before.
Friendship
I have connecting some of my primary school friends which I did not contacted for a decade. Seriously miss them. Especially those who used to be close with me like PCW,CKYhen, CKYee. I took quite some time to get them. I'm really gonna see those pretty girls when I go back to KL. I miss my secondary school friends as well.
Experiences
I had a wonderful BBQ during Vesak day. Even though it's been quite troublesome going to get the raw material and prepare the whole night and get up early in the morning, it's really fun.
Had experience ice-skating for the 1st time during Ruoyu's Birthday. Had a lot of fun thou.
Went to Sentosa beach. Went to Marina Bay Sands. Eat lots of good food. Planning on more activities soon. I had fun too after the hectic office hours.
I'm looking forward for more things to happen in my life so that I can be a happier person.
It has been so long ever since the last time I update my blog.
There's been quite a lot of happening by then till now.
Work
I learnt so many things up till now in my current firm, seeing different type of people and happenings. Most people here are for criminal matters. So much exciting stories from each and every person. My bosses are nice. Big boss is a ex-police officer and currently practicing as a lawyer in criminal matters. My boss is a newbie in legal industry, side by side we learn together. It was not as stress as my first job in Singapore. Sometimes, my boss does scold when he is totally pissed off with the work and mess he is facing. But then, he still is a nice guy. I have nice colleague here. All of them. So, working here quite happy. Only sometimes when there is something to rush, everyone will feel stress then everyone will got bad mood.
Studies
Frankly speaking, I haven even start to save the money for studying. Even I have determined to take Diploma in Paralegal Studies, I still need some time to prepare myself mentally and physically. I worried that I will fail in my studies like the last time and wasted the money. So, I still have time till next year to start my studies. Before my time restricted by studies, I will enjoy as much as I could now. I've planned for Taiwan trip on 28 September 2011 till 7 October 2011.
Relationship
Overall okay. My baby has been getting busy recently. Less time for sleep and less time for me. Only during his semester break he is free. Our relationship is kind of husband and wife relationship. We have been together for 3 years and now, we sort of communicate less. Sometimes, I still feel insecure about our relationship. He is getting more and more friends while I still remain the same. I wonder why those new friends of his mostly girls, very young girls. I am a jealous person. Every time he sms some girls, he would delete the content of the conversation. This is the reason why I have been feeling so insecure. Even if he says it's nothing and just simple conversation which the other party reply only a few words, still I feel like there's something happening. I choose to believe him but I don't believe him fully. Ask me why? If he ever cheat on me while I believe him 100% I am the one who die with grudges and sadness. I am the one hurt most. Hurt to the extend of wanted to commit suicide. I've got hurt so many times and it's difficult for me to fully heal. When I am with my 1st boyfriend, he hugged some other girls without me knowing when there are only the 2 of them. I found out easily as my six sense told me that he cheated on me. He admitted. My 2nd boyfriend lied to me. I saw there's a girl that he has been contacting a lot and taking about our relationship things. When he say he want to break up, I questioned him whether he is in love with this girl and he denied. In the end we end the relationship peacefully and not long he got together with the girl who has husband and a baby girl. My six sense has been always right about something fishy about my boys. I don't know whether this time, am I just thinking too much or it's real. However, I still love my baby a lot and choose to trust him. I really hope we can last forever without cheating or covering or lying. I want a pure and honest relationship with him. No hidden motive or so on. Moreover, my baby has such weird attitudes which I have to keep up with. Sometimes, I really feel hard to keep up as I am swallowing the bombs he gave me. I don't know when my limit of tolerance reach and burst. I hope, we can try to look for a better solutions of all these matters.
Financial
Financially, not stable at all. Didn't manage to save money till now. A lot of things to spend on. Hopefully, by then I can save up money for future use. Starting after I'm back from Taiwan Trip!
Health
I can say that my health deteriorated. Officially having asthma now. Need to rely on the pump whenever I feel unable to breathe properly and when played too hard with my baby. Sleep at least a little bit improved as I am having less dreams during the night. Sometimes I still dream weird things but not as much as before.
Friendship
I have connecting some of my primary school friends which I did not contacted for a decade. Seriously miss them. Especially those who used to be close with me like PCW,CKYhen, CKYee. I took quite some time to get them. I'm really gonna see those pretty girls when I go back to KL. I miss my secondary school friends as well.
Experiences
I had a wonderful BBQ during Vesak day. Even though it's been quite troublesome going to get the raw material and prepare the whole night and get up early in the morning, it's really fun.
Had experience ice-skating for the 1st time during Ruoyu's Birthday. Had a lot of fun thou.
Went to Sentosa beach. Went to Marina Bay Sands. Eat lots of good food. Planning on more activities soon. I had fun too after the hectic office hours.
I'm looking forward for more things to happen in my life so that I can be a happier person.
3:03 PM
